Why It’s Important to Approach Relationship Conflict with Vulnerability and an Open Mind
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Dealing with conflicts in your relationship is never easy. When you and your partner clash over an issue, you can both end up feeling hurt and insecure.
You know you need to talk it out, but neither of you wants to be the first to let your guard down. Understanding the importance of vulnerability and an open mind can help you reach compromises and move forward.
Vulnerability allows you both to say what you really feel. Opening up about your emotions isn’t always easy, even when you’re talking to your partner. In order to get to the root of an issue, you have to be vulnerable.
If each party feels safe exposing their vulnerabilities, it’s much easier to come to a solution without harboring resentment towards each other. Let’s explore why vulnerability is essential to navigate relationship conflicts.
Why Vulnerability Matters
Vulnerability shows your partner that you trust them fully. It means that you know you have nothing to hide from them. The openness also allows them to know you better, thus increasing their understanding of your perspective and intent.
In return, you need to let your partner be vulnerable with you without passing judgment on them. Having an open mind means that you’ll hear them out and respect what they say even if you disagree with them. When you can be vulnerable together, it’s a sign that you feel truly safe with one another.
Honesty is Key
What if you hold yourself back from being vulnerable with your partner? Well, you’re inevitably going to resist voicing something important to you.
If you can’t be vulnerable with your partner, it means you can’t be honest with them. Vulnerability and honesty go hand in hand. When you sit down to talk with your partner, make a promise to yourself to be totally honest.
Listening to Each Other
When you’re trying to share your feelings about a conflict, it can be tempting to talk over your partner. After all, you’re upset and frustrated. You want your partner to know exactly how you feel.
Being truly vulnerable means hearing each other out and knowing when you need to take a step back and listen to your partner. When you give each other the opportunity to speak and make it clear that you’re genuinely listening, you show your respect for each other. This is true even if you still have disagreements.
Avoid Provocation
If you provoke your partner, intentionally or unintentionally, they will not feel safe enough to be vulnerable with you. They will worry that speaking honestly will invite vitriol and you will have awakened their defenses, which may well bring conflict resolution to a halt.
To ensure that the other feels truly safe while being vulnerable, both of you should aim to keep your comments benign. This is not the time to be snarky or poke fun at your partner.
Likewise, they need to show you the same respect. Make sure that your actions reflect kindness. If you can get through this situation while being respectful towards one another, it will make future conflicts easier to handle.
Before each party speaks, they need to consider the impact their words will have on their partner.
Be Loving
Remember, you’re trying to solve this conflict rather than walking away because you and your partner love each other. This is an opportunity to show each other how much you care.
Speak with love and remind your partner of the reason that you still want to be with them, even if you don’t always agree. When you keep love at the center of your conversation, being vulnerable isn’t so hard anymore.
Being in love and knowing your partner loves you back makes vulnerability possible. When love is mututal, you know you can let your guard down around them. By reminding yourself of this, you can make it through any disagreement.
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Are you and your partner struggling to be vulnerable while dealing with conflicts in your relationship? Relationship therapy can help change your perspective. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.